All of the tasks of being a caregiver can take a toll, causing physical, emotional, and mental fatigue. In an unfortunate bit of irony, that fatigue can make the role even more challenging. In this episode, Allison and Justin talk about how it feels to be in an intense season of caregiving, the toll it takes, and the guilt they experience when they feel they aren’t at their best.
Justin’s wife received unexpected test results that led down the path of scans, an appointment with an oncologist and a plan for surgery. In this episode, Justin shares what they’ve been through and what lies ahead.
Caregivers can experience frequent moments of disappointment, from plans that need to be canceled to treatments that don’t work to people not showing up when we need them most. In this episode, Allison and Justin talk about the types of disappointment they have faced, ways disappointment can be processed, and what we can do to manage our expectations.
Caregivers and their families frequently find that well-meaning friends, family, and medical staff show up in ways that do not line up with the needs, wishes, and values of the patient. In these cases, it’s important for the caregiver to establish and enforce boundaries, both for their loved one and for themself, which can be challenging on a number of levels. In this episode, Justin and Allison talk about how they feel about setting boundaries, different scenarios in which it may be important to do so, and ways that supporters can help.
Caregiving can have an enormous impact on the mental and emotional health of a caregiver and therapy is one important tool that can help. However, there are barriers that may cause caregivers to hesitate, despite the benefits. In this episode, Allison and Justin share their own experiences with therapy, describe what may stand in the way of a caregiver accessing therapy, and list some resources that can help.
Some caregivers go through phases in which their loved one's health is a bit more stable. These seasons can leave caregivers wondering if they can still claim that title and can allow some space for reflection. In this episode, Justin talks about what it's been like to be in a quieter season these past few months.
Making plans can feel risky and complex for caregivers, as they find themselves creating contingency plans for all that might go awry before, during, and after the event. All this can lead caregivers to play it safe, deciding that staying home is easier - but at what cost? In this episode, Justin and Allison talk about which way they tend to tip, and the consequences that follow.
For people living with an illness or injury, appointments with medical professionals can feel like important moments to learn more about the prognosis, get access to new treatments, and share concerns about new symptoms. But what happens when those appointments don’t go well? How does that impact caregivers and what, if anything, is their role in following up? In this episode, Allison and Justin talk about their experiences with unpleasant appointments for their spouses, how that felt, and what they did about it.
Most caregivers come into the role without any medical background and yet find themselves performing high stakes tasks and making countless decisions. In this episode, Justin and Allison talk about times they did receive training, if it was effective, and where the gaps are in the system.
For a caregiver, the experience of a loved one being hospitalized can involve countless moments of decision-making, symptom tracking, and advocating all while being away from home and while bearing witness to our person’s suffering. Allison recently experienced all of this and more when her husband spent multiple days in the Emergency Room and hospital. In this episode, she shares with Justin what went into the before, during, and after that hospital stay.