Some caregivers feel there is an unspoken expectation that we only share the positive aspects of our role; that we appear to be brave and strong and grateful. In this episode, Allison and Justin talk about where that misperception may stem from, the damage it can cause, and how supporters can help.
Most caregivers come into the role without any medical background and yet find themselves performing high stakes tasks and making countless decisions. In this episode, Justin and Allison talk about times they did receive training, if it was effective, and where the gaps are in the system.
When we become caregivers, any illusion we had of being in control in our lives can be lost. We are often unable to control disease progression, our loved one’s pain, and broken systems, just to name a few. This lack of control can make some people cling more tightly to what they have left and can make others let go altogether. In this episode, Justin and Allison talk about how they have experienced this lack of control and how supporters can help.
Each of us is wired differently and that wiring can lead us to choose our careers, our partners, our hobbies. But caregiving is a role into which we are thrust, so how do our personality traits help or hinder our caregiving lives? In this episode, Allison and Justin interview certified Enneagram Coach Jenna Law to learn more.
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https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/
https://www.everydayenneagram.me/
When someone in our life has an acute injury or medical situation, it makes sense for us to focus solely on their needs. But when an illness becomes longer-lasting or chronic, caregivers need to find ways to balance the needs of their loved ones with their own. In this episode, Allison and Justin talk about why that can be challenging, ways that can look, and what might happen if we don’t.
As caregivers we are attuned to the needs and moods of our loved ones and spend our days showing them care and compassion. However, we rarely transfer those same skills to ourselves. In this episode, Allison and Justin talk about simple ways we can start to implement self compassion when it comes to our thoughts, moods, and mistakes.
The celebration of Justin’s 40th birthday led him to reflect on where he thought he would be at this time in his life versus where he is. In this episode, he and Allison talk about how becoming caregivers changed their trajectories, how they are trying to claim the role without losing themselves in it, and how to remember and focus on who they are, not just what they do.
Justin and Allison talk about how it feels when caregivers are told to find meaning in their hardships and to celebrate and seek well-being through their roles. Spoiler Alert: It doesn’t feel good. They discuss what does feel supportive and what kind of spaces they would like to see more of in the caregiving community.
Justin and Allison both married their spouses years before either of them became ill, but have now spent more years of their marriages as caregivers than not. In this episode, they talk about how married life, roles, and relationships have changed in the time since the diagnoses, as well as what it feels like looking towards the futures that are not what they imagined on their wedding days.
Justin and Allison talk about the pressure of being the person who sees the complete picture of their spouse’s health and feeling overwhelmed because they can’t just rely on the doctors, but need to be their own medical researchers.