Allison and Justin talk about how as caregivers, we aren’t just caring for our spouses, but also navigating how to support the kids in our lives. What and how much do you tell them and how much do you involve them?
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This episode was recorded on May 23, before the murder of George Floyd, which is why this important issue wasn’t discussed. We’ve added an additional note at the end of this episode in which we provide resources connecting today’s topic of talking with children about chronic illness to having conversations with kids about racism. Thanks for listening.
Allison and Justin talk about grief, discussing what they miss about the lives they had before their partners were diagnosed, the mourning over the lives they thought they would have but don’t, and the anticipatory grief they carry when thinking about the future. They connect their experiences to the collective feelings of grief being felt by many around the world during this time.
Welcome to the first episode of the In Sickness podcast! Listen in as Allison Breininger and Justin Bajema talk about how they became caregivers for their spouses at a young age, what it’s like to be a caregiver during a pandemic, and how their long-distance friendship has provided an opportunity for them to talk openly about the anxiety that caregiving triggers in them both.
Susan Silk created "The Ring Theory" as a way to guide people who are supporting someone in a crisis. In this episode, Allison and Justin discuss how this model of "Comfort In, Dump Out" applies to caregiving.
From the mundane details of each day to moments of medical emergencies to treatment plans to COVID safety, caregivers are constantly making decisions. In this episode, Justin and Allison talk about what that looks and feels like in their daily lives and how their personalities impact their decision-making skills.
Justin and Allison discuss the ways in which caregiving impacts their physical, emotional, and mental health, what burnout feels like to them, and how supporters can help.
Justin and Allison talk about how it feels when caregivers are told to find meaning in their hardships and to celebrate and seek well-being through their roles. Spoiler Alert: It doesn’t feel good. They discuss what does feel supportive and what kind of spaces they would like to see more of in the caregiving community.
Allison and Justin discuss how, on top of their caregiving responsibilities, they are weighed down with outside pressures, such as feeling the need to advocate on behalf of their spouses’ diseases, the constant reminders to take care of themselves, and the new pressures and questions surrounding protocols now that things are starting to open up. They discuss the impact these pressures have on them, what they do to release some of that pressure, and what others can do to help.
Justin and Allison talk openly about the state of their mental health before becoming caregivers and the ways this role has impacted their anxiety and depression. Justin also shares how a new medication is impacting his wife's overall well-being.
Even as they do so much for their loved ones, a common feeling experienced by caregivers is guilt. In this episode, Justin and Allison talk about feeling as if they are never doing enough, about how comparison can be dangerous, and the role that guilt plays in their caregiving lives.
Caregiving is a lonely role. From moments of being physically alone to situations where no one understands their reality, Allison and Justin talk together about the loneliness of being a caregiver.
Allison and Justin talk about how toxic positivity is used by and towards caregivers, and can lead to feelings of being dismissed and unheard. They share ideas of how to share and hear hard things without always going to the bright side.
Justin and Allison talk about the pressure of being the person who sees the complete picture of their spouse’s health and feeling overwhelmed because they can’t just rely on the doctors, but need to be their own medical researchers.
When someone in our life has an acute injury or medical situation, it makes sense for us to focus solely on their needs. But when an illness becomes longer-lasting or chronic, caregivers need to find ways to balance the needs of their loved ones with their own. In this episode, Allison and Justin talk about why that can be challenging, ways that can look, and what might happen if we don’t.
We often equate rest with sleep, but as caregivers and humans, there are other ways we can and need to find rest throughout our days. Listen in as Allison and Justin talk about how they've seen this play out in their own lives and how supporters can help.
While caring for a loved one, caregivers can have experiences that lead to trauma. In this episode, Justin and Allison talk with Dr. Megan Voss about how trauma can manifest itself, what to do if it does, and ways to begin to process it even as we continue caregiving.
Research tells us that caregivers are at a higher risk of physical ailments and chronic conditions than their non-caregiving peers. In this episode, Allison and Justin dig into the reasons behind these statistics and offer some realistic strategies for caregivers and their supporters.
Over the past year, Allison has been experiencing increasingly severe panic attacks as well as feeling physically run down. In March, she reached a breaking point that led her to take a month off of work. In this episode, she shares what those challenging weeks were like and what she is doing to heal.
After living with depression and anxiety for many years, Justin recently began a thirty-six day regimen of Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS). In this episode he shares how he came to the decision to try this course of treatment, what it’s been like so far, and how it has felt to be the one in need of care.
As caregivers we are attuned to the needs and moods of our loved ones and spend our days showing them care and compassion. However, we rarely transfer those same skills to ourselves. In this episode, Allison and Justin talk about simple ways we can start to implement self compassion when it comes to our thoughts, moods, and mistakes.
Justin and Allison discuss the ways in which caregiving impacts their physical, emotional, and mental health, what burnout feels like to them, and how supporters can help.
After more than a year of being at home, Allison and Justin talk about the travel opportunities they have taken this summer, both with and without their spouses. They discuss what it’s like to leave their partners and their caregiving responsibilities behind.
Coming off of three weeks of being sick, Allison talks with Justin about what it’s been like to be under the weather while caregiving. The two of them talk about what drives them to do all that they do and discuss how challenging it is when they are out of commission.